(no subject)
Oct. 20th, 2009 11:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
giantegoWell, look at me! I'm new here, but I don't know how to deal with unfamiliar situations and environments, so I'm just going to get my designer panties all in a bunch and bitch to people I don't know, because that makes complete and utter sense. I'm so scared! I can hardly string together a sentence. I'm shaking, I'm hyperventilating, I want my mommy. But the bitch has been dead for quite some time, so you'll have to do! Help me, Desai, you're my only hope. Hold me, Desai.
And now I'm obligated to tell you all that I do not, in fact, want you to hold me. Put the touchy-feely away, kids. I'm employing sarcasm, which just so happens to be the hypothetical hammer of my rhetoric toolbox! You're all going to have to get used to it real quick. No, you're not allowed to argue this point. No, you're not allowed to tell me to be "nicer" or "gentler" or "more open and sensitive to the needs of others who, quite frankly, don't even know what they need because humans don't have a shred of self-awareness in them." No, you're not allowed to cut me off. No, you're not allowed to go to the bathroom while I'm talking. No, you're not allowed to do the girly pee dance. You'll hold it like a man. All of you.
Look, here's the deal: I don't know much about this world, aside from the fact that you're all pathetic whiners with no lives to speak of who've probably never touched another naked body, and so I'm assuming that the medical system is equally weak and flimsy. No worries, kids, Jesus H. Cox is here to save the day! With a little help from the plebeians, of course. It's a big place, which just means there's more room for screw ups to propagate and inevitably hurt themselves or others. And we just can't have that, now can we? Just point me in the direction of the hospital, and I'll be there to solve all problems, cure all ills, reattach all limbs, kick all asses and take all names.
It is, in fact, how I "roll."
And now I'm obligated to tell you all that I do not, in fact, want you to hold me. Put the touchy-feely away, kids. I'm employing sarcasm, which just so happens to be the hypothetical hammer of my rhetoric toolbox! You're all going to have to get used to it real quick. No, you're not allowed to argue this point. No, you're not allowed to tell me to be "nicer" or "gentler" or "more open and sensitive to the needs of others who, quite frankly, don't even know what they need because humans don't have a shred of self-awareness in them." No, you're not allowed to cut me off. No, you're not allowed to go to the bathroom while I'm talking. No, you're not allowed to do the girly pee dance. You'll hold it like a man. All of you.
Look, here's the deal: I don't know much about this world, aside from the fact that you're all pathetic whiners with no lives to speak of who've probably never touched another naked body, and so I'm assuming that the medical system is equally weak and flimsy. No worries, kids, Jesus H. Cox is here to save the day! With a little help from the plebeians, of course. It's a big place, which just means there's more room for screw ups to propagate and inevitably hurt themselves or others. And we just can't have that, now can we? Just point me in the direction of the hospital, and I'll be there to solve all problems, cure all ills, reattach all limbs, kick all asses and take all names.
It is, in fact, how I "roll."
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no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 06:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 06:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 06:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 06:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 06:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 06:58 am (UTC)Dr. Cox, but you knew that. Fun fact: my first name is not, in fact, Jesus.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-21 06:59 am (UTC)I'm sorry I've never heard of any of these things.